So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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