Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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