so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize