So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
