he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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