I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
