just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
