I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
