1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
