every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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