What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
