That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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