She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
