There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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