she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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