also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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