i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize