Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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