pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
