I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
