vagina is talking i cant
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
