Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
