I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize