Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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