I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
