Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
