they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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