i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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