in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
