did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
