You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
