There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
