Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
People in love make me want to vomit
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
