No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
