And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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