Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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