i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
