last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
