I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
