I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize