life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
