someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Damn victory sex feels great
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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