its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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