So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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