then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
did i just pee glitter
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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