He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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