Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
