I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
