i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
