I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
