new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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