I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
