Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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