so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
