I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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