Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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