at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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