No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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