I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My bed smells like the plague
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
