WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
