I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
