We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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