Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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