oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
