Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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