I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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