New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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