respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
