No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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