I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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