ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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