You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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