Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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