My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I love you. Go after that dick
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
