he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
