On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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