What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
