We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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