he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
look no pants
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
