Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
