nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
