1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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