You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
